So of course, I feel a certain obligation to share some of these pearls of observation, wisdom and sarcastic dismissal of lesser creatures.
What are some of the things that annoy me?
MTV without music videos, History Channel without history, and Headline News with no headlines.
Overpriced multirazors. Just how many blades does a real man need? Three? Five? 25?
Explaining why I'm a vegetarian to nearly every person I 'meat.' I don't care what YOU eat!
Panicky TV weather reports
People who spend more on pet surgery than they give to human charity
Putting clothing on dogs. They were born with fur coats, people.
Greedy movie moguls who stretch trilogies into four movies. And even worse, warping one book into three movies. Why do people buy tickets to these rip-offs? Maybe they've laced mind control drugs into the fake butter.
Anti-vaxxers who put more faith in Jenny McCarthy than their own doctors.
Lefties who laugh at climate change deniers for ignoring scientific consensus yet completely distrust GMO crops no matter how much science stands behind the crops.
The American version of Top Gear
People who don't vote
Crazy Islamists who think it makes sense to kill people for drawing cartoons
Crazy Communist dictators who think a stupid movie is a good reason to start a cyber war.
Lame duck presidents talking tough about policies that have no chance at all of passage in Congress...and the media zombies who cover such theatrics as if they're real news.
Holiday skippers. If you still have Christmas lights blazing beyond New Year's Day AND Martin Luther King Day, that's YOU.
Mobile phones batteries that run out of juice faster than a day care center at snack time.
The multibilliondollar college sports racket that pays coaches more than university presidents yet claims that paying players would ruin the integrity of amateur athletics.
The multibilliondollar pro sports fraud machine that has suckered people into believing taxpayers should build stadiums.
Fast convictions from the court of public opinion.
And, oh yeah, pretty much everything about the Cincinnati streetcar.